Jewish Wedding Traditions

Jewish Wedding Traditions

Jewish wedding customs are steeped in traditions that go back centuries. Individual customs may vary between the Sephardic and Ashkenazi, but many of these basic rituals are performed before and during the wedding ceremonies for both Jewish traditions.

Tena’im

The Tena’im are similar to an engagement contract. Individual representatives of the bride and groom sign the documents. Since breaking the formal betrothal is considered a serious breach of honor, it is common to have the Tena’im signed just before the marriage ceremony takes place.

The Mikvah

The Mikvah is a ritual bath. It is part of the Jewish laws of family purity that the bride and the groom study during the engagement. Within four days of the ceremony the bride visits the Mikvah for spiritual purification. The groom may also visit the Mikvah before the wedding day, but it is more customary for the bride to do so.

Veiling the Bride

The groom's veiling of the bride is also called the Bedecken. With a boisterous and joyful spirit, the guests of the wedding escort the groom to the bride while singing and dancing. The groom lowers the veil over the bride’s face. The bride is then given special blessings and the groom is escorted out to prepare for the ceremony. This tradition is said to come from a couple of different stories. One is that it started with Rebecca, who put the veil on herself when she saw Isaac. The other tradition states that the groom can view his bride’s face before the veil is lowered, so he won’t be fooled as Jacob was when Leah was substituted for Rachel.

Chuppah

The Chuppah is a cloth canopy that is held up by four poles. The wedding ceremony takes place under the Chuppah. The “roof” of the Chuppah represents the first home the couple will share together, while the “walls” are open to bring to mind Abraham and Sarah who always had their tent open to others. The groom enters the Chuppah first and the bride follows.

Breaking the Glass

At the end of the ceremony, a glass is placed on the floor and the groom smashes it with his foot. There are a few different interpretations of why this tradition started. For some, there is religious significance as it may represent the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. For others, it is a reminder of the fragility of a relationship.

The Ketubah

The Ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract which spells out the obligations of the husband to his wife. Though it is signed before the ceremony, the couple aren’t married until it is read under the chuppah. Once the Ketubah is read out loud under the chuppah, the groom then hands it to the bride. The couple then officially become husband and wife. Modern Ketubahs can be beautiful works of art.

The Seven Blessings

The seven blessings (Sheva Brachot) are recited under the chuppah and after the ceremony at the meal.

• The First Blessing is a sign of rejoicing and is said over a cup of wine.
• The Second Blessing thanks G-d for creating the world and shows appreciation to the guests of the wedding.
• The Third and Fourth Blessings thank G-d for creating the physical and spiritual aspects of man. The union of man and woman is when the couple will begin their lives as complete human beings.
• The Fifth Blessing is a prayer for the restoring Jerusalem and the rebuilding of the Holy Temple, the building that represented the special relationship with G-d and the Jewish people.
• The Sixth Blessing puts forth the hope that the bride and groom grow in their love for each other.
• The Seventh Blessing is a prayer for the promised Messiah to come and bring peace and tranquility.

Fasting

It is customary for the bride and groom to fast and refrain from eating and drinking on the day of their wedding. They are permitted to eat if they feel week or ill from fasting. There are also some days when fasting is prohibited: The first day of a new month, the day after a holiday or a holiday like Chanukah.

The Ring Ceremony

Jewish wedding rings must be made of solid gold, silver, or platinum with no stones or holes breaking or interrupting the circle. The circle represents the the hope of unending love. The ring itself is the consecration of the marriage contract and is placed on the bride’s right index finger.

Yihud

Yihud means “alone together” and represents the tradition of a private meeting between the bride and groom. Right after the ceremony, the new wife and husband are escorted to a private room.  Here they are not to be disturbed while they spend some time in each other’s company.

Song and Dance

Song and dance are important traditions at Jewish weddings. One of the most common songs is “Siman Tov u’Mazal Tov”, which is a song wishing good fortune to the couple. The Horah is a circle dance often done to the song, "Hava Nagillah".

Resources

• Jewish Wedding Network – A glossary of Jewish wedding traditions
• Our Ceremony – A Q&A guide on the Jewish ceremony
• The Jewish Wedding – A rabbi’s explanation of laws and customs
• Jewish Review – Jewish wedding traditions explained

These meaningful rituals celebrate the beauty and commitment of the bride and groom’s love for each other, as well as their relationship to G-d, the community, and Jewish history.